COUPLES Therapy

Most couples struggle to communicate in some areas of their lives. We all get defensive at times, which makes it difficult to really listen to our partner. There are often issues from the past that continue to come up again and again and never seem to resolve. One way to discuss these issues is using Imago Therapy’s Dialogue.

EXAMPLE

Step 1: sit facing one another (even better hold hands). one of you will be the “sender” and the other the “receiver.” Choose now.

Step 2: Sender will use “I feel __ (about what)___ I need”___statements. Even better leave out the word “you” in the statement. Example: Instead of “I feel frustrated because you never do the dishes”, try “I feel frustrated because the dishes pile up and I don’t have time to do them. I need help.”

Step 3: Receiver: Mirror - state back what you have heard without adding or taking away words or meaning. Check in with sender to make sure you have understood, “Did I get that right?” Validate- tell the Sender why their statement makes sense Empathize- imagine being in their shoes and tell them “I imagine you’re feeling…”. Check in with the sender again to make sure you understand.

Step 4: Switch. The Sender can now be the Receiver and vice versa.

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